Destiny
by snapple sammler
Summary: AU starting from Independence Day
1. Part One: Broken NC17

**Title**: Broken ( Destiny part one )  
**Timeline**: Season one. During Independence Day and dips into Sexual Healing.  
**Perspective**: Maria  
**Spoilers**: If you haven't seen the first and second season, there are a few things in here relative to them.  
**Rating**: NC17  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing and due to this you will get nothing if you try to sue me.

---

It's not like she's thinking about Michael, because she's not. Because she's so over that whole drama their so called relationship had. Or lack or drama. She can't make up her mind which it was. Whatever. She's over it. She's over _him_. She's not thinking about him. Not thinking about how well he kisses or how good she feels when he holds her or how much she wants him here. Now. Holding her. More than holding her. But she's not thinking about that. In fact, she's not thinking about anything but combing her hair. And she's got to be crazy if she thinks she's seeing him because he is certainly not standing outside her window. In the rain. Soaked to his toes and probably going to get pneumonia. Not that she cares or that she should even bother thinking about it because he's not there. He's not real. He's not walking over. Or is he walking over? Or is her mind and her eyes and all her senses playing tricks on her? Or is he playing tricks on her. Czechoslovakian tricks. She didn't think it was possible but you never know. You just never know!

And he's not going away. She shakes her head at the window and decides to speak. If his Czechoslovakian tricks are so good, he'll be able to hear her from wherever he's transmitting the kind of projected mind type image thingy of himself. Like they do in Star Wars, when the Emperor speaks to Darth about going to the Death Star, yeah, like that. He'll hear, and he'll flicker off like a light and just go away. "What are you doing out there? No, you can't come in. No. I know why you're here. All right, I know what your plan is, I know what you want, but it's not gonna work this time, mister, ok, no matter what you say. My answer is no. No, no, no, no, no."

And he's not going away. She pulls the window up, leans down and sticks her head half outside. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood." He hasn't spoken so far and she has a feeling that when he does it'll be to laugh at her and expose her for being so rashly human and believing the projected mind image. He's dripping wet and shivering and she doesn't think he's a projected image anymore nor does she think that he's going to laugh at her nor does she think that anything about this situation which she just entered but thinks has been going on for quite some time now is funny. "God, you could get pneumonia." It's like her hands are moving all on their own because she doesn't realize she's running them over his chest and to his shoulders. She doesn't care either because Michael looks like he's going to cry and he's never done that before. "Here, take your shirt off." He helps her, but not much. He's more focused on watching the floor. She's focussed on unbuttoning every button with care, as if she might hurt him in the process. He's hurt her, but right now the last thing she wants to do is hurt him.

She drapes a towel around him and wipes off all the water. "Hold on. You're shivering." She wants to take that silly wife beater off of him because it's damp and he'll catch a cold if he keeps it on, or at least that's what her mother used to say. And she wants him holding her, but she thinks she should hold him because he looks like he needs it. And she thinks he needs her. But he'll never say it and she'll never ask and they'll always be this fucked up. She can see tears fall from his eyes even though he's burning a hole through her bedroom floor by staring so hard. She cups his face in her palms and she knows that his world is bigger than hers and she'll never understand, but she wants to try and she wants to let him cry and she wants him to tell her he loves her so she can say it back and they can stop being so fucked up.

It's never going to work, though because he's not one for explaining things. Because he hates the idea that he has feelings and he'll never admit that he's hurt. That he's broken. And all she wants is to fix him, but how can she when she doesn't know what to fix? So she takes his hands in hers and sits on the bed in front of him. "Come here. Shh, it's ok. You don't have to tell me, it's ok." It's like talking to a stranger. This isn't Michael and this isn't Maria. Michael isn't one to cry and Maria isn't one to not ask questions. This is serious which she has no experience with whatsoever because she doesn't like being serious. Sure, she wants a serious relationship and a serious boyfriend and a serious career as something — anything — other than a waitress but she doesn't want a serious life and all this serious Czechoslovakian crap is starting to seriously stress her out. But it's okay mainly because it's Michael and because she loves him and because Czechoslovakian or not, he's the best thing that's ever happened to her.

When he lays down in front of her she feels like her heart is breaking inside her chest a thousand times. He breaks down, sobbing and not facing her because how can he face her? Maria hugs him close to her body and plants tiny kisses on his hot skin. He's burning up and she pulls the covers up to his chest, shivers against him and can't help but love the way he feels. The rain outside pounds against the window and somewhere, between the softest kisses and laboured breathing and the sound of the end of the world outside, Maria falls asleep, somewhat in Michael's arms and somewhat holding him and somewhat hoping that all he needed was a little sleep and he would be okay even if she only believed it for a second before she snapped back into reality and realized that whatever it was wouldn't be okay. It could never be okay.

-

She wakes up to the sound of thunder, the sound rain hitting hard on the window, the sound of Michael shuffling around her room, the feeling that a conversation involving Czechoslovakians, the Sheriff, his lack of trust in Liz, his lack of trust in her, his lack of trust, his paranoia, his insanity is going to arise before the sun. It is still dark out but she can see him clearly, pacing back and fourth until he sees she is awake and smiles. She's glad for the smile, glad for anything but the tears because more than confuse her, they break her heart. "Come here." She's not mad at him anymore even if he is like a drug and even if the addiction is going to kill her, because how can she be mad at him when he smiles like that? She holds out her hand and he takes it, rubs his thumb in circles on her skin, kisses it gently and sits beside her. Her feet are warm under the covers but her shoulders are cold and exposed and his fingers send chills down her spine. "I'm scared." He rests his head in her lap and closes his eyes and Maria stops stroking his hair for a moment to piece together the two simple words he's just uttered. Michael Guerin. Scared. Of what? "I have nothing. Max... And Isabel have their family, they belong here. Not me."

"You have me." She looks down at him and silently wishes she hadn't spoken but her wishes mean less than nothing when he sits up and smiles. Something about that smile, the way it's not exactly conveying the happiness she thinks smiles should, makes her break and now she's the one crying and he's reaching out, brushing his fingers over her tears and telling her it's okay. Quite the role reversal. Or perhaps it's just the universe putting things back to the way they were. If that's what it is, she doesn't want it because "back to the way they were" means that Michael doesn't feel and he pushes her away and she's tired of being pushed away. She wants for once to be pulled real close and never let go. She wants to be safe. And maybe she wants to be loved. Or maybe she wants to be told that she's loved. "You're not alone, Michael." She chokes back tears and stifles her sobs in her throat, reaching out for him like he is for her, hoping that she's reaching beyond what she can feel. Max and Liz claim to have seen each others souls. Maria just wants to see Michael care. "You belong here, you do. You belong with me." She can no longer hold back her tears and collapses on him, holds on tight, afraid to let him go, and shivers when he strokes her hair back from her face and kisses her forehead.

It's like everything that happens, even the stuff that she doesn't know about or doesn't understand, somehow leads them to this place. This stupid place where Maria wants to hit Michael for not wrapping his arms around her and declaring his love. Where she wants him to just shut up and kiss her and hold her. More than hold her. _Love_ her. It all leads here, every time, and she just wishes he would cut it out, end all the pining and hoping and wishing and just do something — anything — and prove something. She doesn't know what he should prove, but when he proves it she should be so knocked off her feet she won't care what it is. Maria thinks that all the time she spends with the Czechoslovakians — maybe it's something about the exchange of fluids, she shared that drink with Isabel once and she's sure Max has coughed on her and she can't stress enough how much spit she's swapped with Michael — has made her weak to alien super powers because Michael is reading her mind. Oh my god! Maybe he's been able to do this all along, like the mind image projector thing, although he didn't really do that, and he's been reading all her random crazy thoughts about him the whole time.

But he's definitely reading her mind because he reaches over and pulls her face close to his and just kisses her, just like that, like he's been dying to do it. Like he was made to kiss her. And that place they were in, it no longer exists and it no longer matters and the only thing that does matter is how hard her heart is beating in her chest and how much she wants him right now. How much she needs him. She pulls back now aware that his arms are tight around her waist and her hands are resting on his chest feeling the pulse of his heart beating exactly as hers is. She runs her hand over his heart and looks into those eyes, those look right through you and still somehow memorize every inch of your body, mind and soul eyes, and she melts, bites her bottom lip and whispers, "I love you." Maybe he heard her and maybe he didn't but he kisses her again and lets his hands wander under her shirt where they have been before but not like this and not on a bed and not after she admitted something as rash and human as love.

And love is stupid. Love is confusing and complicated and disappointing because love makes a habit of not really being love but being a supplement of love, an apprentice of love that hasn't quite mastered the art and skill it takes to be solid and assuring and real. And right now she needs real, but right now, Michael's hand is inching up her body, cold against the heat of her skin and she can't help but tilt her head back and allow him to kiss her neck and shoulders. He's got a way with his hands and she doesn't object to him teasing her, kneading her breasts with his palms and making her nipples hard like the smallest pebbles. It's hard not to moan, not to close her eyes and wallow in the moment, allowing him to simply have his way with her. She regains partial control of herself, however, and moves her own hands to remove the silly wife beater she wanted to take off hours ago. He removes his hands from her body for a moment to lift them over his head as she pulls it off his arms. She tosses it aside and leans far in to kiss him harshly on the mouth, their lips crashing together, eager to stay that way and yet, much like them, destined to break apart.

It's not like she knows where this is going, she hasn't got the slightest clue. She's never done this before because she's never felt this way before and she doubts she'll ever feel this way again. But she allows herself to remain enamoured by the worst kind of person. The worst kind of alien, even. The kind that makes you feel emotions you were unaware even existed and then takes them all away in the blink of an eye. She allows Michael to slide the straps of her top off her shoulders and leave a trail of soft kisses and butterflies in her stomach. He kisses her collarbone and pulls away, examining her body. He trails his fingers over her skin, down her arm and to her hand and his fingers leave another trail but this time she can see it. Her skin is glowing from within and everywhere he touches is illuminated and she wonders if he's been holding out on her all this time.

And when he kisses her again, she can see the stars. And it's not like the mind image projector or the mind reading because she can feel the heat of a million stars rising up in her and she can see them swirling around in the darkness of space. And then she sees Michael, but not as he is now — shirtless in his boxers and half under the covers — she can see Michael through Michael's eyes. She can see him looking at a younger Max, and she can feel how scared he is to join him and Isabel. She can feel his fear and now she can feel his anger. And she can see Hank and hear him yelling and when Michael uses his powers, she feels a sudden surge, like a wave of energy washed over her, knocked her to the ground and she is laying breathlessly watching herself in Michael's arms and she understands now that she _is_ loved even if he can't say it. Because the way he holds her, the way he looks at her, it's how she looks at him.

She pulls away from him slowly, the images still fresh in her mind, though fading, and blinks back tears that can only be forming out of pure happiness. She strokes his cheek and pulls him closer and from the look on his face, he saw her soul too. Maria bites her bottom lip, looks up at him and smiles genuinely, reaches around her waist and pulls her shirt over her head and tosses it aside with his. He can do no more than stare at her, look her over and take it all in. She's almost glad there isn't too much light, in fact there is none besides the occasional flash of lightning and the blue gloom of the moon, because she can feel his eyes on her and she lifts her arms up to her chest. He tilts her chin up and whispers, "You're beautiful," lays her down, his own body hovering over hers, and kisses her.

Michael trails kisses that glow down her neck and shoulders and doesn't stop until he reaches the waist of her shorts. He looks up at her, the bright kisses melting into her skin and as she is absorbing the feeling of his lips all over her body, she nods slightly, bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes. She hadn't pegged Michael for the type of guy to ask if she was sure and to ask again to confirm and to reach over and get his wallet and riffle around for a condom. She tells him it's okay but doesn't tell him why it's okay. Because she is on birth control, after all, and that's safe, but mainly because she wants her first time with him to be real, nothing left out, she wants to feel closer to him than she's ever felt. She wants nothing in between them, nothing in the way. And he must be reading her mind again because he gets it, puts his wallet down on the bedside table and starts kissing her again.

She and Michael have never seen each other this... _Naked_ before and, well, she doesn't get the best view but when she feels him, she _really_ feels him, gradually moving deeper inside of her, her body moving in sync with hers. She's probably holding on to him too tight, with her eyes closed and her arms around his neck and he asks if she's okay and covers up the slight tinge of pain with more kisses and now every inch of Maria is glowing even if it's not outside. She's a firm believer of destiny and he's more against it than anyone she knows, but she thinks they could both agree that right now, destiny wants them together. She can't help but be vocal because he pushes into her causing her back to arch off the bed, her knees rubbing against his sides, toes digging into the bed and her mind once again swimming with thought.

Thoughts she is sure Michael doesn't want her to see. He's standing in the lunch line being told that welfare stamps don't work in school, he's sitting alone on the playground and she can see herself with Liz, Max with Isabel and she never noticed how alone he was. She can see the black eye Hank gave him and Max healing it. And then she sees him touching her because he's actually touching her and it's electric. He's literally sending sparks through her body making her gasp for air and try her hardest to hold in moans so loud the room looks like it's spinning. She feels like she is spiralling through space past what looks like the poster up in Science class of the Whirlwind Galaxy and as he pushes harder into her she can feel herself crashing, hitting the ground harder than she expected, like it was actually happening.

The image is gone as soon as it arrives in her mind, replaced with military soldiers running, running toward something that is beeping, the sound pulsing through Maria's body. And something was being buried by the radio tower she drove by once. Highway 42. The flashes she saw next were blurred, less clear and they were soundless. She saw what looked like pods, but instead of three there were eight. Maria gasped, her mind and body both rushing to the present, now fully aware of Michael and how good he feels inside of her. It's like something she's never felt before, combined with his hands on the small of her back, lips brushing over her neck and the rush of a thousand images, all of Michael, running through her mind simultaneously as he comes inside of her. She can feel it, feel him tense up just as she does and just as she comes for the fourth time tonight because, as if she hadn't expected it, alien sex is amazing. She's not sure if it's different or better but it's good, and she wants more.

-

"I saw the crash," she whispers in his ear as her fingers run up his back and through his hair. "I think." She is laying half under him, half asleep and half stuck in the illusion that she and Michael just had sex which they couldn't have because sex doesn't happen to Maria and Michael doesn't get close enough to people to have sex with them, but they could have because they are naked, after all, and her thighs are aching and she can feel a dozen hickies turning redder by the second and because she has this feeling that she's full. Maybe a kind of fulfillment but no, full, she feels full. "Highway 42." She closes her eyes and Michael is staring at her, trying to figure out what the hell she's babbling about. "Tell me tomorrow, Maria." He strokes her hair and rolls off her, slides his arm under her neck and she smiles happily because being held is her favourite thing next to alien sex.

There's something in the pit of Maria's stomach that makes her frown, though, because as good as this night was, it started with Michael being hurt and she wants to make it so that he's never hurt like that again but she doesn't know how. She's not Czechoslovakian and she's never been brought back to life by one, or even healed by one or anything like that, she's just had sex with one and that just happened so it's too early to count. She just wants to know that he's okay and that tomorrow, when they wake up and the issue of the crash and the pods and whatever was being buried comes up, he'll still be okay. And most of all, she wants to know that she made it okay, that she made it better. He kisses her lips and the side of her neck and holds her close, their bodies tangled together under the sheets, and whispers "thank you" too low for her to hear at first, but then he says the rest and Maria knows it's okay. "I love you."


	2. Part Two: Buried PG13

**Title**: Buried ( Destiny part two )  
**Timeline**: Independence Day to Sexual Healing.  
**Perspective**: Michael  
**Spoilers**: Nothing you shouldn't already know.  
**Rating**: PG13 for language.  
**Disclaimer**: All of this belongs to Jason Katims, I just like to borrow it and tweak it to my liking.

---

Michael wakes up with the sun, even if it's not shining very brightly. His eyes feel droopy and weak and it's like he hasn't slept all night which isn't right because he went to sleep after four. To him, that's just enough sleep. Maria's laying half on top of him and half off the bed, but he doesn't want to move her in fear of waking her. It's almost unreal that he's here, with her like this because Michael never thought his first time would be with someone he actually loved. Whether he admits it or not, he loves Maria. He loves everything about her, from her psychobabble to her loyalty. He just loves _her_. It's stupid that he has never said it before last night because all those moments of bickering and not being together could have been spent in other ways. Like this. Because when he's with Maria, it's like the world doesn't exist, even if it does exist, and everything is right. And that's how he wants things from now on.

His eyes are barely open but he can hear Ms. Deluca from the door and she doesn't sound all too pleased. Michael's never had to deal with parents that care before, hell, he's never had to deal with parents at all so he really doesn't understand why Mrs. Deluca is standing in the doorway looking like someone just killed her dog. "Take it easy," he mutters under his breath and sits up, sliding his arm out from under Maria's neck. That's what wakes her up and now she and her loony mom are sharing expressions, both looking back and fourth between each other and him. He doesn't understand the exchange of mother/daughter looks but they must be communicating something because her mom gives her a stern glare and Maria grabs the sheets around her body to leave. It slips off and Michael — doing what he truly thought would be a good thing because what mom wants to see their kid like that? — reaches over and pulls it up for her. Bad move, Guerin. Very, very bad move.

Amy's glare is now directed at him, and he moves his hand and lets Maria stand up with the covers wrapped around her small body. Michael takes it upon himself to stare anywhere but at her mom and pulls the rest of the blanket over his own body. "I want you out of my house!" She continues to stare at him, leading Maria out of he room as she did. Maria, on the other hand, turns back and smiles at him, distracting him from he task at hand — trying to distract her mom from killing the both of them. He stays in Maria's room for a while after getting dressed, and goes over the images she let him see. Red shoes, is what he remembers the most. Her red shoes with blue laces and a Kermit patch on one of them. He saw images of the two of them during the heat wave and he knew what it was like to be hurt by him. And he didn't want to hurt her anymore.

He leaves two notes for her, one under her pillow and one in her drawer both saying "Sorry about this morning, I'll see you at school. If your mom kills you, just know that I love you and I'll always love you. I'll try to avenge your death, love Michael" and heads out the door as quietly as he possibly can. It's enough that he was caught naked holding her daughter but if Amy saw him leave the scene of the crime, she'd probably kill him. He has no idea what the hell Maria and her nut job mother are talking about when he leaves but it's intense and he almost stays so he can break the tension. He'd probably add to the tension.

It's not even eight yet, which is when he usually wakes up, but he's not going to risk going home just yet cause Hank wouldn't have gone to work yet and he sure as hell doesn't want to deal with that. Instead he goes to the park and sits on the only bench in sight and just basks in the sunlight, in the sun which has just come out behind the clouds. He can still feel Maria, still see her smiling, still hear her soft breaths in his ear and taste her lips and her cherry lip gloss, some of which he still has on his neck. Again, he gets that surreal feeling cause nothing like this has ever happened to him before. Sure, He and Maria made out before, things got intense, things got _really_ intense, but never this intense. And this time it wasn't because he wanted to calm her down or because of the heat wave but because he loved her.

And that was another thing. Until he actually started paying attention to Maria as Maria instead of Maria as the friend of the girl Max was obsessed with, he didn't think he could actually feel this way about, well, anyone. So maybe it isn't love. Maybe it's lust, infatuation, a chemical imbalance in the alien part of his brain that only acts up around specific human females. Whatever it is, he feels it and he feels it for Maria and he kind of hopes it is love because if it is somehow alien related then he would feel guilty. Michael doesn't do very well with guilty. He does well with angry and amused and sometimes with jealousy, okay all the time with jealousy, but not with guilty. He hates being guilty.

He sits for a while, just thinking. Thinking about how much his life had changed since September. Back then, it was all about being recluse, keeping to himself, being emotionally detached — even from Max and Isabel. But now... Now it's different. He doesn't want to be recluse or keep to himself or be detached, he wants to parade his relationship with Maria around the whole town and he wants to be out every night doing so. He wants what Max and Liz have, that ability to do whatever it is that they want and not feel like they're ruining lives or altering fate or anything like that even if, maybe, somehow, they really are.

Michael doesn't believe in fate, or destiny or serendipity, none of that stuff. Maria does. Max, Liz, Isabel and Alex do. But Michael just thinks it's another one of the world's ways to help you along the path of loneliness. If you believe in destiny, you'll spend the rest of your life looking for your destiny and you'll waste away and die alone. Cynical? Sure. But closer to the truth than anything else he could even come up with. Maria is adamant that Michael is her destiny, but Michael has this theory that he, Max and Isabel were sent to earth to exterminate the human race and take over so technically, his destiny is to kill her. If destiny exists that is, which it doesn't.

-

He walks through the door and into the place he has come to accept as home — but nowhere could really be home — and is all too relieved that Hank isn't there. It is nearing eight, so Michael reluctantly takes a shower and changes. Part of him wants to get out of the clothes he was in yesterday, and out of the memory of what Hank had done to him, but the rest of him wants to keep the memory of Maria and last night forever. He goes to school hoping to see Maria and avoid Max and Isabel's inquires about last night. He goes the long way to class and narrowly escapes Isabel. He ignores Max in first period, doesn't sit next to him like he usually does, and when a cop shows up in the class asking for him and he has to go down to the office and then the police station, he doesn't do as much as even look at Max even though he can feel him staring. Nope, they royally fucked things up with Hank and now Michael is probably going to be moved across the county to another foster situation that he'll have to adjust to. He'll end up running away and going off to find Nasedo himself. Max and Isabel will be happy in Roswell and even though Michael will miss Maria, it may just be better for him to leave. What the hell was he thinking all this for? There was no way he'd leave Maria.

"Neighbours heard gunshots." If Valenti wants Michael to hate him more than he currently does, all he has to do is interrogate him about random bullshit that really doesn't concern him and really doesn't make sense to interrogate a seventeen year old about. Michael shrugs his shoulders and stares up, plays the oblivious card. "I don't know anything about that." Either Valenti was determined to book Michael for something — he didn't have enough fun holding him for the break in at the UFO centre — or he's always this much of a hard ass. For the briefest of moments, Michael actually feels bad for Kyle, but then it sets in that he doesn't really like Kyle all that much so the sympathy fades.

"But you were there last night?" Yeah, course he was, he used his alien powers to make a whole bunch of stuff fly across the room — he never did have good control over those things. "Went home to get some stuff." Michael's always debating in his head whether he should lie or tell the harsh alien truth; that everything he does is in some way related to him getting home. Home being on another planet whose name and location he doesn't know cause he's never been there since he hatched from this pod like thing ten years ago. He's so sure Valenti would love that story.

When the sheriff asks "What time was that?" Michael just wants to roll his eyes and tell him to fuck off because his questions are really predictable and predictable is just plain boring. "Um...does it matter?" To him it doesn't because what does he care what time he was home? This is the stupidest thing Michael has ever experienced and that includes the time he dressed up and fought for Amy in the Alien Takedown. Valenti leans over the desk and sighs, Michael leans back for a moment cause being this close to the sheriff is a little awkward. "You were the last person to see him."

If life were a soap opera or a crime drama, Michael would know exactly what that statement meant. But life was life and he furrows his eyebrows and looks at the sheriff like he's beyond confused, which he kind of is. "What do you mean, I was 'the last person to see him'?"

He's positive that the sheriff is annoyed of him now, probably wants to just lock him up, throw away the key and not even try to ask anymore questions, and he doesn't, he just sits smugly on the desk and speaks in that condescending 'you can tell me anything' voice. "I called the plant. He never showed up for work." Michael almost lets himself wonder what happened, where did his great foster dad disappear to, but then he remembers that he really doesn't give a damn and just scoffs. "Maybe he's passed out somewhere. I don't keep track of him." He makes the decision to keep his mouth shut about everything. Obviously, there will be no mention of alien activity, nothing about Max and Isabel coming over or flying chairs, malfunctioning guns and nothing about Maria. Roswell was a small town and everyone knew everyone and he wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression of her.

"Neighbours also said they heard an argument. And then, later, more sounds. Screaming. Crying. Tortured sounds, like an animal. Almost inhuman, they said." This time, Michael really wants to know. He's not just playing dumb to get Valenti off his back, he really wants to know. Sure he scared Hank a little, maybe he got even more drunk after they left but screaming? Crying? Tortured sounds? Michael wasn't sure he wanted to know what 'inhumane' things were going on because there was that miniscule chance that it had something to do with Nasedo and if Max and Is were right about him, Michael would never be able to forgive himself.

"What are you talking about?" he finally asks, just like that, plain and simple and all in one breath. "Where were you, son?" Not only does he hate it when Valenti calls him son, he hates it when he pretends to care. He doesn't care, that's the most obvious thing Michael has ever seen. He leans back and thinks of Maria dramatically crying as he's taken away in chains and then shakes the thought because Maria would sooner break him out than dramatically cry in public for a cause other than if her mom's car had to get towed again.

"Out." He takes Valenti's silent treatment like a man, takes the disappointed shaking of the head with his head held high. He's got nothing to hide after all. Well, he's got tonnes to hide, but nothing relevant to the current crisis. He takes his pride all the way to his very own jail cell and falls asleep thinking that no matter how beat up he got during the convention, he's not gonna be Amy's favourite wrestler anymore.

-

"Guerin. You've been sprung." Valenti doesn't look all too happy about the arrangement, looks as though he'd rather keep Michael there over night so he can drug him, probe him and find out all about his alien ness. Michael's said it before — adults are the enemy and Valenti is definitely the enemy. He figures Max and Isabel ran to their lawyer daddy and got him to fix it all, Max'll be telling him in a moment how he had to clean up another one of Michael's messes, but when he steps into Valenti's office and sees Maria and her mom, he can't help but smile.

Amy smiles back at him but only for a moment cause she turns to her daughter and instructs her to wait outside. Michael follows Maria out and closes the door behind him, pulling her into a hug as soon as they're a safe distance away from her mom and the sheriff. "I thought you'd be in there forever, Max told us Valenti took you, why did he, what's going on?" As if Maria didn't talk enough in normal circumstances. He presses his lips against hers to shut her up and, surprisingly, it works. "I gotta get out of here before your mom sees us and kills us." He kisses her again and once more and goes to leave but she pulls him back.

"Wait! Last night, when we—" She breaks off blushing and they both make awkward attempts to clear their throats. Michael is biting on his bottom lip to keep from grinning and Maria has decided to distract herself by playing with her hair. "Okay, well, I saw things, Michael. I saw... You." He looks up from his feet and blinks, doesn't speak and sort of squints at her like he sometimes does. "I saw the crash and I think I saw something being buried. It looked important." She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, hands it to Michael and waits with this anticipation that can only be described as cute. Michael unfolds it and he knows. He just knows. "This is the radio tower on 42, it's near the—"

"Crash site." They can hear the door to Valenti's office opening and they both scramble around the corner for a last kiss. "Meet me outside my house in half an hour. It's already late so I can just lock my door and pretend to sleep, I'm sure my mom won't even notice I'm gone." Michael is barely listening to her instructions because he's kissing her after every few words, trailing kisses down her neck and running his hands over her body. He whispers "I love you" and kisses her again, leaves the police station in a rush and spends the next half hour pacing back and fourth in the trailer and watching Bewitched.

Michael helps Maria climb out her window and she almost falls into the grass but he catches her and dusts her off and makes her blush. Maria has the bright idea that they should walk because Michael doesn't have access to a car and if they use Amy's she'll hear and then death will follow suit. Neither of them want to die, so they walk to the radio tower with flashlights in hand and holding onto each other tighter than ever every time Maria hears a coyote. "It's here." She looks around intently, searching the ground for some indication that what she's seen in her flashes is real.

-

Michael watches her kneel down and touch the ground and when she stands up again he puts his arms around her tiny waist and can't help but love the way she feels. When he kisses her neck it glows like it did before and she turns around and touches his face. "I can't do it to you." He almost likes her slight pout and the way she whimpers quietly and gives him puppy dog eyes. "I'm glowing everywhere," he kisses her nose, brushes her hair out of her eyes and smirks. "My toes, my heart. You can't see it, it's on the inside." It's enough to make the girl swoon and for a second, Michael doesn't hate Max for destroying everything that made his life normal — excluding Maria, of course — instead he wants to thank him because the romantic stuff really does work.

She kisses him, hands in his hair and his are on her back and he can feel the heat through her skin where she is glowing. The same goes for him cause it's like he's on fire. They both close their eyes and savour the moment and somewhere in the back of his mind, Michael can hear faint beeping. He ignores it, deepens the kiss and holds Maria closer to him, but she breaks away and looks down at their feet. "That's the noise I heard in my vision." They both stare down and Michael holds his hand above the area where they can now clearly hear beeping. His powers have never been as developed as Max or Isabel's but digging a hole? How simple can you get? Maria stands beside him and looks into the small opening he's making and both of them stare into the sky when a bright blue light shoots up.

Michael's sure he's seen that light before, sure it means something important and sure that after this night nothing will ever be the same again. He reaches in and picks up the smooth stone. On it is the symbol from the caves from where the light is coming. It's dimmer now, not shooting into the sky like it did when the earth was first removed from it, and Maria's holding it with him, both of them in awe of what it actually is. He looks over across the distance and a voice that isn't his own speaks quietly even though he didn't make to speak. "Ava." Maria furrows her eyebrows and nudges him. "Who's Ava?" But he doesn't know. Yet.


	3. Part Three: Burned

**Title**: Burned ( Destiny part three )  
**Timeline**: All of Tess' life up until Sexual Healing.  
**Perspective**: Tess/Ava  
**Spoilers**: This goes right to the third without _going_ to the third.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't sue me, I own nothing.

---

Sometimes Tess is Tess and sometimes Tess is Ava and when she's Ava, she just wants to go home. Heck, when she's Tess she just wants to go home. But when she's Tess she doesn't know where home is. She's heard that home is where the heart is and home is where your feet are but all she really knows for sure is that home is in a car with Nasedo on the way to a place that isn't close to home. It isn't close to Ava's home, at least, because Ava's home is with the stars. Both Tess and Ava want to go to Ava's home. Ava wants to go because she wants to rule again and Tess wants to go because she doubts they'll ever find what they're looking for driving around the States like idiots. You see, Tess and Ava are the same person sometimes and two different people sometimes. Not in the way Nasedo and Ed Harding are different people because Tess didn't kill Ava and take over her body, but in the way that when Tess is Tess, Ava's in the back of her mind.

Tess remembers Antar, or at least, Ava remembers Antar and Tess can see what Ava remembers. Tess sees Vilandra and Rath and she can see Zan; her Zan. The love of her life. And that's why she hasn't run away or killed herself, because as soon as she is old enough to understand, she wants to find Zan and just. Just. She doesn't know what she'll do if she found him, but she wants to. She doesn't know if the other three are together or where the first batch are, and Nasedo doesn't know either or he would tell her. At least, that's what she'd like to think. Sometimes she thinks he keeps her on the road driving further and further away from something real because he doesn't want her to leave him. She doesn't want to leave him either because he's all she's ever had and nothing can really change that. Nothing except for Zan, because Tess knows that once she finds Zan, Ava will take over and she will be okay. They will both be okay. She won't need Nasedo anymore and that will make her happier than she can ever be.

But then there's the matter of the deal. Nasedo was supposed to be their protector, he was supposed to protect them from anything and everything that came their way — especially Kivar. And the first thing Nasedo did when he found Tess' pod alone in the desert was make that stupid deal. The only thing preventing her from killing him and going out on her own is the idea of not knowing what to do next. Ava would know what to do if she had Zan or Rath or even Vilandra but Tess is in charge because the second batch is more human than alien and Tess is technically a sixteen year old human with no ideas and no sense of direction.

Ava has killed before, Tess knows this. She killed a dozen rebels in order to get to Vilandra and kill her. Tess never figured out why because Ava's memories ended there and Tess guesses that Ava's life ended there as well. She asked Nasedo once but he told her not to meddle in the affairs of her past and live in the present. Ava wanted to kill him and Tess wanted to cry. They both wanted to find Zan so they could leave him and live happily ever after. Before, Tess would lay awake at night and replay all the memories of Ava and Zan and she would wonder if her Zan will still be called Zan. Nasedo named her Tess after Ed Harding's wife, even though she wanted to keep her original name, and it's grown on her, but she thinks she'll change it back to Ava when she find Zan. Unless his name is something equally silly, like Lloyd or Clifford. She knew a Lloyd for a moment in time. He served her scrambled eggs and burnt toast and orange juice with far too much pulp. Clifford is the big red dog on television that she watched as a child and always wanted to own but Nasedo said that dogs don't like cars and she cried all the way home from the mall while Ava thought up a plot to kill him.

When Tess turned ten she had her first crush, a boy named James who had bright blue eyes and blond hair. He looked nothing like Zan and perhaps that was what made her like him so much because at that time she didn't believe in destiny and she didn't think there was any way she'd find Zan. At that time, she really didn't care if she found him or not because she had found out about the deal and she didn't want to go back to Antar and watch Zan being killed again. That's what scared James off. She kissed him once and saw a million flashes of her life on Antar and her death on Antar and called him Zan. He called her a freak and was dating a pretty redhead when Nasedo drove the car out of the driveway and away from Rockford, Illinois. That was the first time she and Nasedo had a real house for a home and she had to call him dad because the neighbours called him Ed or Mr. Harding and they would ask questions about who Nasedo was. The night after she kissed James she went over Ava's memories again and cried herself to sleep.

It was rather heroic of Zan to die for his wife. Stupid, but heroic. She went over the image of Ava lying in bed with Zan's arms around her for the last time and the distant sound of screaming. She went over crashing into the door trying to get in — the rebels have stormed the palace and made sure there was no way to get out — and Zan forcing it open. Rath is alone, fighting off rebels at the command of none other than Kivar. Vilandra is rocking herself back and fourth like the coward she is watching her husband being killed. Zan and Larek rush to help their friend and Ava, seeing clearly what the others have not, rushes toward Vilandra. There is power in her that she has not felt before and as Tess watches the scene she feels it too. Heat overcomes her, her body feels electric and it seems as if the lightning from outside is suddenly inside of her. It is surging through her and simultaneously surging through the rebel fighters, but it is killing them and their pain is making her more powerful. She can see the fighting stop around her, stretches her arm out at Vilandra and watches Zan leap in front of her to receive the life ending blow from Kivar. She killed a dozen rebels in order to get to Vilandra and kill her. And she had failed.

When Tess woke up from Ava's memories, the room was electrically charged and something had burned. The sound of a storm was resonating outside the window and she felt as though for a moment in time, she actually was Ava. Nasedo told her she caused the storm, and after that she stopped visiting Ava's memories, tucked them and her away like a neat package in the back of her mind. She wouldn't bring them out again for a long while.

-

Maybe it's because she's died three times — though all in memory and all in someone else's memory and Ava didn't technically die all three times but Tess watched it and that was just as bad as living it — that she knows what it's like to live. Nasedo finally puts her in school, finally let her interact with other kids and she's the only thirteen year old who can answer what love is. So maybe she's loved, not lived, but you have to live to love, don't you? And you have to live to die and love to live and die to understand love and life and all that. All that doesn't matter.

"Love is knowing that forever isn't going to get in the way because forever is what you're willing to offer. Love is knowing that no matter where or when or for how long you'll be together in the end. Love is dying for each other and living again if only to die once more. It's hurting when you're not together, crying when you miss each other, not wanting anything else in the whole wide world and the other star systems. It's finding a way to be together so you can relive what you've already experienced and make it better. Love is the strongest emotion you can ever feel at any given time and it connects you no matter what the circumstance. Love is unconditional, it is never ending, it is simple and complicated and it hurts. But it's worth it because one moment of love is greater than all the happiness the world has to offer. Love is seeing the stars when you kiss and the three moons when you make love. Love is what you get when you take on the world."

Apparently thirteen year old children shouldn't know what "making love" is like. The teacher called her troubled, the students called her a slut and Nasedo said he loved her for the first time when he drove the car out of the driveway and away from Hattiesburg, Mississippi. In New Orleans, Ava stops showing up as often and Tess makes a friend, one who reminds her of Vilandra. It is ironic that the one person who befriends her reminds her so much of the person who betrayed her in the first place, who is the reason she is here and not there and apart from Zan. It all came down to Zan. Her name was Jessica and Tess wanted to know why Nasedo hadn't named her Jessica instead. Sure Tess has sentimental value but Tess never saw Nasedo's emotions before or after they left Hattiesburg so she really didn't understand it. Sometimes she wonders who Nasedo was before he was Ed Harding and she wonders if he knew Tess Harding and if she was sentimental to Nasedo and not just Ed.

Nasedo moved them to Odessa, Texas in the middle of the night and Tess cried herself to sleep for a week. Sure, Jessica reminded her of Vilandra and sure, Vilandra had betrayed them to the death but Jessica was her only friend and Nasedo took that away from her. She wasn't silent about hating him after that. She was fifteen years old and Ava was back. Ava freely used her powers, though she couldn't use them at school because Nasedo didn't trust her enough to put her in school anymore. She lit the kitchen on fire in his mind and snuck out of the house while mind warping conversations in her beloved father's head. She thought real hard about running away when she would take long walks by herself but the idea of being on her own wasn't something she could bear at the moment. She needed someone. She needed Zan.

The fact was, though, that Zan wasn't there and she probably wouldn't find him and she would die alone — or with Nasedo by her side which was just the same as being alone — in her too human body and her too human world and without anything she loved.

-

Before they leave Texas, Nasedo leaves Tess alone in the house in Odessa for a week and she packs all her bags to run away. She sits on the edge of her bed staring out the window, into the stars, and wondering if Zan is somewhere looking up at the same stars. Maybe Rath and Vilandra are still lovers in this world, maybe since Kivar isn't here, they are happy together. Maybe they aren't even together. For some reason, that thought comforts her because if they are alone, when they come together it will mean so much more. She thinks at least if they are alone she won't be the only one. If she enters their world and it is already built she would feel as she felt all her human life. Left out. Ava was never left out on Antar, Tess knows this. She had friends and a family; her mother had the bluest eyes and her father was sternly handsome but carefree and loving — nothing like Nasedo. She had sisters, two of them, who were flower girls at her wedding. They moved into the royal palace when she became Queen and she often would walk in the gardens with the mothers and Vilandra talking of the men in their lives and the calm that had been in Antar for so many years.

It was Kivar who upset the calm, attacking Sero for the sheer joy of it. Sero, in turn, attacked Hanar causing Hanar to attack Kathana. It was Kathana, whose armies were then greater in number, who first attacked Zan in Antar. Dozens of peace summits were held in the course of the battles and on the night of the final decision, the last wave of soldiers from Kivar's world invaded Antar and murdered the Royal Four. If Tess or Ava ever found Kivar, they would both kill him in an instant. As Tess sits on the edge of her bed, staring into the stars, she makes the decision to stay with Nasedo. He is not her mother with her bright eyes or her father with his laughter and he was certainly not Zan; her Zan, the love of her life. But it was Nasedo that took her from the pod and gave her a home, whether or not it was on wheels. It was Nasedo who wearily tried to be a father and a mother and two sisters. It was Nasedo who raised her for the years of her life that mattered and it was Nasedo who would eventually lead her to her destiny. That night Ava wants to leave but Tess isn't ready. She hasn't repaid her debt to her "father" as of yet.

-

Nasedo comes back frantic, excited and laughing. Tess wonders what his reaction would have been if he came back to an empty home. It seems, for as long as they had been on this quest to find the others, they have been searching in the wrong places. Well, Tess could have told him that. But she wouldn't tell him that. Something Jessica said. Something about letting your parents be right. Ava thought it was stupid, but Tess would listen to anything Jessica had said. Tess has to repack her bags since she put all the clothes back in the closet on the fourth day of his absence. She has scrambled eggs and bacon on their last day in town and the toast she eats is only slightly burnt and reminds her of Lloyd. And Lloyd reminded her of Larek because he had curly hair and a silly air about him. And Tess wonders if when they found the others, they would tell her stories of people who reminded them of her.

They are driving to Phoenix, Tess sleeping in the back of the car and Ava's memories swimming through her mind. And Zan is swimming through her mind. Through crimson red water that isn't quite liquid and isn't quite solid. It reforms around his body as he swims on his back, eyes closed and his arms outstretched. Tess can see the moon hanging over the horizon, the cloudless sky is burnt orange, like a painting that's never been painted. And she can see the view of the royal city through Ava's eyes from atop a rock where Ava sits. She is draped in the finest fabric, curls bouncing off her bare shoulders and the water splashing against her feet. Dimaras rock, named after the third moon, it later became their special place. Ava pretends not to notice Zan, whispering secrets to Larek and swimming away shyly. When he is king, he will have to work on his social skills. Larek swims toward her and gives a little wave, "M'Lady, would you do the prince and I the pleasure of telling me your name" She blushes and nods, speaking simultaneously with a voice that sounds both distant and near. "Ava."

"AVA! Wake up!" Nasedo has stopped the car on the side of the road and gotten out. He is staring at the sky with utmost disbelief motioning her out of the car. Ever since he came back to her he had been somehow changed. Everything is different and every night, as they draw closer to their destination, he stops the car and stares out into the stars. She stumbles out and looks, expecting to see nothing but a clear sky and maybe a cloud of two illuminated by the light of the moon. She hates Earth for only having one moon. Instead a voice speaks through Tess' mouth though she had not made to speak. "Rath." Nasedo seems surprised by this because even he hadn't expected there to be such a strong connection between the four. Perhaps it didn't work across great distances.

The iridescent light that shines blue into the sky is something she has seen before, or rather, something Ava has seen before. It is the light from the communicator, but only enough to be one. Tess knows there should be two on Earth because two were left in Antar to be activated when the two on Earth were activated. Nasedo told her this but she doesn't remember the rest of the conversation because she really never paid attention to him. Ava awakens in Tess and she remembers Zan's frequent abuse of the orbs. He would take one set with him on trips to other planets and send her messages when he was supposed to be working. It isn't Zan that she feels, though, but Rath. He was not only her friend on Antar, he was her brother and she missed him just as much as she missed Zan.

Tears fill her eyes as she listens to Nasedo. Zan, her Zan, had been found, under the name of Max Evans, a simple boy with a sister by the name of Isabel. Vilandra. Nasedo had been watching them in the week he was gone, photographing them and following them. They spent time with a boy called Michael Guerin and when Nasedo told Tess this, she and Ava both cried. It was as she had feared for ten years of endless road trips and dead end leads. She had endured loneliness since the moment she had stepped out of the pod and they were together all this time.

Tess hates the desert and she hates the feeling of being burned even when the sun isn't shining. She hated Odessa but she loved New Orleans. She hates wherever it is they're going. "Roswell, New Mexico." Nasedo says when they pull into a driveway of a clean cut looking house in a neighbourhood both Tess and Ava aren't used to. Tess is used to small houses and apartments and the back of the car Nasedo has probably had since before he found her pod. Ava is used to shimmering lights and red water and three moons in the sky. Nasedo has already set up his office and put a few things in the fridge and Tess figures it out that he was here when he was gone. She asks him if they remember anything and he doesn't reply and that night Tess cries and Ava wishes she had killed herself before she let it get this far because now all her dreams and hopes of a reunion are shattered.


	4. Part Four: Bitter

**Title**: Bitter ( Destiny part four )  
**Timeline**: Sexual Healing.  
**Perspective**: Isabel  
**Spoilers**: Second season stuff.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own these characters or anything affiliated with these characters, if you plan on suing, plan again.

---

Of all places to find herself at 7:30 — 7:31 — in the morning, Alex's house is last on the list. It is simply not the place she usually finds herself. It's like she's slumming, visiting lesser beings, a boy of a lower social status and yet she always finds herself compelled to be near him. At first she thought it was obligation because at first there was that dream of his that just made her see him in this completely different way, completely against her will, too because she did not want to see him like that. It's like Alex Whitman has an unforeseen charm about him that makes her attracted to him. She is, in some unexplainable way, addicted to him. It is a horrible thought. What's even more horrible is that she even had the chance to become attracted to him. And it is all Liz' fault.

Liz Parker, the reason behind all of Isabel's misfortunes. If she thinks about it logically and without bias she'll find that it is actually Max' fault, but instead she thinks about it this way. If it hadn't have been for Liz getting in the way of that bullet, Max wouldn't have had to save her. No, scratch that. Fast forward. Max saves Liz, Max tells Liz and then what does she do, instead of keeping the big alien secret to herself like a good girl, she goes and tells Maria Deluca. Liz was right about one thing, though, Maria is the Fort Knox of friends because she hasn't told a soul. Whoop tee doo, one point for Liz and about a hundred against her — okay, one against her. Not only did she tell Maria, she let Kyle Valenti see the handprint. And then she told Alex, trusted Topolsky, and last but not least she broke Max' heart. Isabel's not really sure about the last one but it seems like it.

One for Liz, five against her. To add to her complete and utter wreckage of Isabel's life, it is all her fault that the humans hung around what Maria calls the "Pod Squad" now. All her fault that Max is silently pining, being a complete bore all the time. All her fault that Michael is now missing with Maria and all her fault that Isabel is in the nerd part of town on Alex Whitman's doorstep. Slumming. HER! Isabel frickin Evans, in Nerdville, New Mexico ringing the doorbell to talk to Alex frickin Whitman. She really wants to blow something up but figures doing so in broad daylight with so many credible witnesses around is a bad idea. Still, she wants to blow something up and maybe she wants it to be Liz Parker's head.

"Isabel." The door swings open before she can think of what to say, think of how exactly she can go about saying "We think Michael kidnapped Maria again, or actually, Liz thinks so. I don't think so, but Max agrees with her, and she says Michael is a loose cannon and probably took her back to Marathon or something, God, they better be wrong. And you know whatever Liz says must be the truth because she's THE single most perfect person in the world" but it's too late to think about how to say that because she just said it. Exactly like that. "Kidnapped her. Okay, um, let me, um... Let me get the keys to my car. All right? We can go and find them."

She nods, didn't expect that sort of reaction, that sort of help, and pushes her hands in her pockets to occupy herself. "So why do you think Liz is perfect? I mean, no one's perfect." he calls from inside. Isabel pushes the door wider open and takes a step inside — oh no, she's standing in his house! — and yells back in no particular direction because she doesn't know where he is, "I don't. It's Max. She's nothing close to perfect."

When he comes back out, he has also changed which makes her think maybe he's the fourth alien or maybe girls just take longer than guys to change. Heaven knows Michel doesn't take long to change, but Maria is right about him. Sometimes his hygiene worries Isabel. "Maybe his alien hormones react differently to Earth girls." Alex shrugs and stutters when he talks alien, Isabel silently laughs at him. "You never know, I mean take Michael and Maria. Didn't they hate each other a few weeks ago?"

She thinks about it — logically — for a moment and then laughs. Alex was actually right about something. As much as she tries, Isabel just can't understand the relationship between those two. It's like one second he hates her and she wants him to drop dead in a ditch somewhere and the next they're making out in the eraser room unable to detach their mouths from each other. It was disturbing to even think about. "Isabel, you're phone's ringing." Alex motions toward her pocket and she realizes that in her state of thinking, she lost partial consciousness. Not the first time that's happened. She smiles weakly, a bit embarrassed, and picks up the phone. A moment later she's sighing and hanging up.

"It's Max. Let's go." Alex gives her a rather incredulous look and she really has no time to explain. "Something about a rock that glows and Michael not kidnapping Maria, can we go now, I'm going to need a ride to those stupid rocks Max and Michael are obsessed with." Obediently, Alex nods follows her to his car. They get in, take off and she rolls down the window to let the breeze rush through her hair. "Take the long way."

Isabel's always been somewhat of a mediator. Max and Michael disagree on something and she has to choose a side. It was like that with telling Alex and Marathon, Texas and, hell, everything. And she hates it, wants them to stop and just grow up. God, can't they ever just grow up? In some ways, Michael is more grown up than them all. Yeah, he's impulsive and he acts on those impulses and gets them all in trouble, but he knows what it's like to live. He's been really living for the past ten years, trying to figure things out. Max and Isabel have been covering up their pain and their questions with a fake existence and parents who have no clue just how imperfect they really are. How imperfect Isabel really is. She sometimes wonders what it would have been like if she and Max hadn't found the Evans' or if Michael found them. If Michael and Max found them. If she was left alone in the desert to be found and stuffed in a foster home with someone like Hank.

She hasn't seen Michael since the previous day and Max said he had to go down to the police station. But Liz said Maria said she asked her mom to clear things up and then they just disappeared, just vanished, and now they were in the desert with a shiny rock? Why would Maria's mom have to clear things up anyway? What did her mom have to do with anything? Isabel thought logically again and came to the conclusion that Michael must have been at Maria's when he left Max and her after going off on Hank. She wishes Michael could just ask her father for help, could ask anyone for help even. She wishes he wasn't so stubborn, but she understands why he is. Still, she wants to help. And for some reason she thinks no one can help Michael. No one can help Isabel, either, and in that way they are more alike than she will ever admit.

There are so many reasons why she needs help in the first place, but they're complicated and stupid and she's never let anyone know. She's the mediator, right, and the mediator can't be torn between the two. She has to choose. It's like she can't have issues because how will they choose sides if she has to mediate? She has to know what she's doing, can't be conflicted, can't have problems. But she does. She really, really does.

-

It's been nearly fifteen minutes and neither she nor Alex have said a word. Boy, he really is taking the long way. At least she can clear her mind, get all these thoughts and frustrations out before they get there and she blows up at someone — but if she does blow up at someone, she'll think up some reason to make it Liz. Isabel's not entirely clear on when her hatred for everything Liz Parker picked up speed, but she knows that it came fast, probably around the time her brother began to include the insufferable know it all in every aspect of his life thus forcing her to become part of Isabel's. Isabel likes to think that Max had a moment of drunken clarity during which he decided that no matter how much he _likes_ Liz Parker, they are better off apart. Really, now. Alien/human relations aren't meant to be had. Of course, Michael and Maria are an exception because Deluca is a strange girl, strange enough to cope with the alien happenings and Michael is so disconnected from, well, the world that they just work. But Parker has a wounded, damsel part that she loves to play and Max has a hero complex. The two usually go perfect with each other, but when you put different species into the mix, it's just wrong.

Maybe it's because nobody pays attention to her anymore, except Alex, and she's not exactly vying for his attention. Michael has always been off in his own little world so naturally, it's been up to her brother to give her the attention she so rightfully deserves. And now, with Liz Parker and her human existence interrupting, Isabel is being pushed to the side. She thinks, in a past life, she must have been a princess. Michael quotes that book, what is it? Eulogy? He quotes it and says "something, something, past lives and other planets, something else boring and pointless." Book quotes are hardly her cup of tea, but it applies. At least, she thinks it applies. She'll have to ask him about it when they get to the rocks. Which, by the way, is taking forever.

"You know, I said take the long way, not take a detour through every side street you see." She sounds bitter, cold, and doesn't really care. Aside from Michael and Maria being missing and returning with a glowing rock — She still has no idea what _that_ is about — she has a massive paper due on Monday and is currently sitting in a beat up old car with the King of the Dorks on the way to see Liz Parker when she could be improving her grades and ignoring the pitfalls of human existence. Oh the wonders of it. Isabel would really like to vomit now at the thought of seeing Liz but she'll respect Alex's parents' car and not.

"Uh, uh, sorry. I'll, um, speed up, then, I guess." She likes it when Alex stutters, it reminds her of a mouse trapped in a corner about to be eaten for dinner. Oh, what a lovely picture to paint. They pass the houses on Walnut Street and Isabel lets her eyes close, lets her thoughts drift to something other than how she's being ignored and how she wants to kill Liz and how she has a paper due that she'll never get done if Alex doesn't drive faster! She lets her thoughts wander to the prospect of being a princess and she can see it clearly, herself on a throne with a tiara.

That's not all she sees, though, and she settles into the cushions and just drifts. Orange sky and red water that surrounds an island on top of which stands the most magnificent palace she's ever imagined. It's like a painting, drawn with someone's mind and not their hands, brought to life with the moving images of herself, hair blowing in the breeze, and someone else who has just entered the room. It's clear now that she's not on a throne, but a very large and expensive looking chair that sits on a terrace overlooking a city. Everything looks a mix of blue and red with fading orange lingering behind. There appears to be no sun in this city, but two moons are shining brightly in the sky. "Vilandra." She doesn't turn her body to see, because she listens and she can hear the voice of a girl — no, a woman — quite clearly. "Your mother is looking for you."

Isabel opens her eyes and blinks several times before she sits up straight and just stares. There is no logical explanation for her imagination at this point. No reason she has just seen what she has seen. And yet it is all too familiar. The sky, the water, that voice. She stares out the window and as they pass a particular house something in her mind just wakes up. "Ava?" She cranes her neck, keeps looking until the house is far out of sight, and looks at Alex who is staring at her like she's grown antennae.

"Who's Ava?" he so Alexly inquires and she shrugs, doesn't know, doesn't care except for the fact that she does care. But Isabel Evans would never, ever let anyone know that she cares. About anything. She just blinks, shrugs again and leans back into the seat. "Alex, just take the 380 and then take 8th, you should know where to go by now." She closes her eyes and hopes for more dreams of this Ava, but none come. Just darkness and worry and a sadness that is all too familiar.

-

"Michael, what is that quote from that book that you say all the time? The one about other planets and past lives?" she asks when they finally arrive. It took Alex forty five minutes to find the right path and she's barely out the door and asking ridiculous questions. She stands with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised, awaiting an answer. The princess in her does not like to wait. "Why is James Joyce relevant to anything? Granted, it's James Joyce and Ulysses is relevant to everything, but why now, Is?" Her patience is running out and she wants to see the glowing rock, but for now she wants to hear the quote because it's annoying her to not know. "Who's James Joyce?" He gives her that look, that Tell Me You're Joking look and she gives him a look in return, a Tell Me Or Die look, and he does after a rather unnecessary, exaggerated sigh.

"Some people believe that we go on living in another body after death, that we lived before. They call it reincarnation. That we all lived before on the earth thousands of years ago or some other planet. They say we have forgotten it. Some say they remember their past lives." It's times like these Isabel thinks Michael is some sort of alien idiot savant. Maria grins up at him — my, she's small — and Isabel is suddenly aware of the order of things. Michael and Maria are standing together, hand in hand, in this cutesy so in love way that their fingers link together like they're never going to let go, while Max and Liz are a hundred feet apart staring in opposite directions. The world is right again, she supposes, and glances at Alex for some sort of reassurance before launching back into alien princess mode.

"Thank you, Michael. Now, back to this rock business, and where were you two?" she gestures toward the inseparable love birds and kind of wants to hit them for smiling so much. Max and Liz move closer to the crowd — though they could hardly be called a crowd, it being just six of them — and Michael begins the story. By the way things look, the former love birds haven't heard the story yet. Isabel is both surprised and barely listening.

"You see, uh, Maria had this flash two nights ago of something being buried over near the radio tower—" He points in the direction of the structure and Isabel wonders why he would need to do that, it's not like it's hidden or small. But that's Michael for you, always pointing out the obvious. "—And so we came to see what it was and we found this. It glowed, it was really weird, and then it stopped glowing so we've just been playing catch with it but Maria broke a nail so we stopped." He must realize talk of playing catch is irrelevant because he stops talking about it and Maria, Fort Knox of Friends, chimes in.

"It's the symbol from the cave painting, too, and I didn't just see this, I saw other things. Stars and pods?" She looks to Michael for reassurance to continue and Isabel is actually listening now. Pods. She saw pods. How many, where, when, how and doing what? "There were eight of them, in this ship, it seemed, and it was crashing. I think I saw the crash."

Max is at a loss for words, it seems, and Liz has sat down and isn't listening at all but staring out into nowhere, which Isabel really couldn't care less about. Alex is leaning against his car and Michael and Maria are just standing, together, squeezing each other's hands and awaiting a response from someone. From anyone. It dawns on Isabel that none of them have ever had so called flashes before and she laughs out loud. "What were you guys doing when these flashes happened?" She pushes aside the thought of eight pods — EIGHT PODS — and stars and the crash and just lets herself laugh. It's been a while since she's laughed. She crosses her arms over her chest and watches both Michael and Maria blush bright red and start to stutter. "Save that story for another time, I suppose? Let's see that rock, shall we?"

Maria hands it over all too quickly, eager for the change of subject, and lets go of Michael's hand so they can both stare at the sky and whistle tunelessly. Isabel is the only one interested in the glowing rock, which she doesn't understand because Max should get his ass over here and be interested with her, but he's not being interested with her because he's boring. And brooding, can't forget brooding. It doesn't glow, just sits there in her hands, smooth against her skin. It's not very entertaining, kind of boring actually. Like Max in his current state.

"What is it?" she finally asks, and the love birds shrug. "Well, it's definitely alien, so there's no way to research it. I suppose we'll just hang on to it until we die of old age." No one is really listening, except for Alex, and again she's not exactly vying for his attention. She just sighs heavily and rolls her eyes. "Maybe we should ask Ava, whoever the hell she is." Michael furrows his eyebrows in that confused Michael way and Maria and Alex both throw up their hands and ask, "Who the hell is Ava?"


	5. Part Five: Breathe

**Title**: Breathe ( Destiny part five )  
**Timeline**: Sexual Healing, or, I suppose, after it. Before Crazy. Dips into Independence Day.  
**Perspective**: Maxwell  
**Spoilers**: Nothing relevant to be spoiled about. Just brooding and thinking and more secret hating of Liz.  
**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Don't sue. LOVE!

---

Max doesn't even think twice about what Liz is thinking when Michael utters "I wonder what Maria is thinking right now" and Isabel adds her input with "Alex must be so confused. He never did understand this alien stuff, just sort of went along with it." They both look at him like he's going to mention Liz, but he doesn't, just shrugs and offers a weak smile and goes back to staring at the passing road, getting dizzy and liking it. He likes being blurred, not knowing what's going on, and lately he has no clue what's going on. The life of Maxwell Evans usually isn't too complicated, but lately. Lately the confusion is invading every aspect of his world, both alien and human. And even though he likes being blurred, he doesn't like it this much.

Isabel rolls her eyes and is playing Honestly Okay so close to her ears Max is sure she can no longer hear. Michael's rolling the stone over and over in his hands, tossing it up and around like it's _not_ the only thing they have from their home planet and they _can_ stand to damage and or lose it. Max is just staring at the passing road, not wondering where Liz is right now and seriously, honestly not caring. Only maybe he is wondering where she is and maybe he is caring, but only a little bit. The littlest of bits. And he stops thinking about it anyway, by choice, because he figures he's thought about it enough. Liz. Maybe in his moment of drunkenness he had a moment of clarity. He finally notices that the music has stopped and both Michael and Isabel are looking at him like he's green. "Whatever, fine, brood. We're used to it anyway."

Isabel turns back to the road — which is a good thing, because Max doesn't want to get into another car crash — and the stone once again is tossed up carelessly. "I'm brooding? You think I brood?" There is a chorus of stifled laughter from the front of the car and he furrows his eyebrows in that disapproving way that he does. "You think I brood." This time it is not a question, quite unfortunately, and he sinks into the back of the jeep and tries to forget about, well, everything. It doesn't work very well and he ends up thinking about everything to the tenth degree. Among his thoughts there is the unknown alien rock that Maria helped find, though Max is still uncertain how that came about. Uncertain but with a fairly good idea. Maybe he should talk to Michael about it. And then there's the fact that his sister and best friend think he broods, which he does, but not to the extent that they think. They're blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Well, of course he broods, he has reason to.

And his reason, well, if that wasn't obvious, is Liz. Liz Parker. Elizabeth Parker. Driving down the highway in the desert heat on a day that started out in panic and fear, Max Evans comes to a realization. Perhaps it's an epiphany. He realizes that Liz is the reason for a lot of things and not all of them are good. In fact, most of them are pretty bad. She's the reason Valenti has become Max's shadow, the reason Topolsky was sent to the school, the reason Michael doesn't trust Max with anything nowadays, the reason Isabel silently hates him — he sees it, even if she hides it — and the reason their quiet alien life of being unnoticed and under the radar has been turned upside down. Granted, she makes him happy and there hasn't been a moment in his life where he's been as happy as he is when he's with her, but Max has never dealt well with his life being in someone else's hands. In Isabel's hands would be more than fine. In Michael's hands he may have to worry about him playing catch with it, but it would be okay. But in someone else's, someone who isn't alien, the concept has always been pretty difficult to grasp.

"Michael?" He looks up to the front seat and Michael catches the stone and looks back at him with a look of raised eyebrows and unfamiliar happiness — Michael isn't usually this happy unless he's been watching Bewitched or reading those big complicated books he likes. "Are we okay, you and I?" Isabel joins in on the awkward exchange of stares, looking back and fourth between the two of them and Michael smiles again — What's with him today? Oh, right, _that_— and nods. "Course we're okay, Maxwell. But don't look at me like you're going to ask why I'm so happy, cause your head would explode if I told you." Max and Isabel simultaneously break into laughter, the music fades as Isabel puts it down beside her and they pull into town, past the Crashdown where Alex's car is parked and keep on driving. "Hey, since Hank's still, you know, you mind if I crash at your place?" He flashes his patented Michael smile and Isabel and Max both nod as the boys do the secret alien handshake they invented in the fourth grade.

-

He lays on his bed with his eyes focussed on the ceiling and the ceiling focussed on him. The sun is blinding him and yet, he refuses to close his eyes. Something about the yellow green spots that it leaves on his eyelids reminds him of something from a long time ago. A memory, maybe of their home planet, maybe of the crash or the pods or maybe it's completely unalien and he's just letting himself get carried away thinking about it. He doesn't even know what it is he's think about and he doesn't have the opportunity to figure it out because he hears a door close rather loudly somewhere out in the hall.

He can hear the sound of Michael making breakfast and conversation as it breaks out, quiet at first and then louder as everyone starts to eat. Isabel chimes in here and there and there is laughter. He hopes Michael is behaving himself around the parents, hopes Isabel isn't answering questions for him or anything. Maybe Max should give the both of them more credit. Michael did find that stone, after all, which currently sits on his stomach, his hands running over its smooth surface as he thinks, and thinks, and thinks some more to no avail. None. At. All. Questions are all he has, really, and no answers, just a shiny rock that doesn't glow unless Michael touches it? There are so many questions in his mind and he can't sort through them quick enough to answer even one.

There's one question that sticks out more than the rest, though. Not even a question, really, just a situation. The whole Liz situation. It all comes down to one thing. Alcohol is bad for aliens. When intoxicated, aliens do strange alien things without thinking about the consequences. They write initials in hearts on walls and make them glow and then make fireworks and then kiss people, become sober and realize that they just made a complete ass out of themselves. The whole Liz situation only became worse with that. With the drunkenness and the kissing and then with the guilty brooding. Max still isn't off the brooding thing. He didn't think it was that extreme, but apparently, it is. It's Sunday morning and he has been brooding for exactly ten days, or so says Isabel. She says it started with the alcohol. Michael says it started when he hit puberty and realized that Liz was his type. Well, his human type, anyway. He'd much rather like to believe Isabel than Michael. The whole Liz situation is worse now, with the brooding and all, and maybe Max doesn't want to fix it.

What Max wants to do is just close his eyes and float away. Sometimes he does float away. He floats and floats and floats to a place where he doesn't have to pretend. Somewhere where there are people exactly like him, who can manipulate molecular substances but don't explain it in those terms because there is no one to explain it to. Because there, it just is. He floats to a place where being found out isn't something you fear, where being different means you're the same as everyone else. Sometimes he thinks that place really exists, that it's waiting for him somewhere among the stars. And then there's times when something goes wrong and he can't close his eyes and pretend to be normal because no amount of pretending can fix the fact that he's not normal and he never will be.

-

Michael's being emancipated has to be the single best thing that has ever happened to their little group. Max decides they should hold meetings, keep each other up to date on the finding outs and going ons of both the alien and human aspect of each of their lives. Maria calls it the "Human/Czechoslovakian Alliance", Alex calls it "Science Club", Michael prefers not to talk about it and Isabel just laughs at the idea of a name for six most clueless beings on Earth. Liz hasn't attended any meetings even though they've been going on for nearly a week — every day after school and if everyone is available on the weekends. If their secret didn't bring the six — well, five — of them closer together to begin with, the meetings sure have.

The apartment is a cross between a hole and a fixer upper that'll never get fixed up. Maria and Isabel have already taken the liberty of putting fluffy pink things everywhere in order to make the place look presentable. The boys are certain they've either gone insane or developed an obsession with marshmallows. "You got a paper towel holder?" Isabel and Michael are loading groceries into the kitchen while Maria kicks Alex's ass in Street Fighter. One thing Max has learned about Maria, never get in her way when it comes to Street Fighter. Max is sitting to the side. He's not brooding, he's not, he's just staring out the window without speaking. Can't a guy stare? "Oh, God! Not even baking soda's gonna help with that." Among the karate noises and Maria's cheering, he can hear bickering. It's like, even with all the alien chaos, they've managed to still be teenagers. Sometimes Max forgets that he _is_ a teenager. Sometimes he feels like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders, it gets hard to differentiate.

"Okay, everyone, out. Maria and I have an experiment to do, you know to find out about the visions." Michael is shooing Isabel from the kitchen and catches the orange Maria throws at his head. "Way to be subtle, Spaceboy." The meetings will go on tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. Maybe Liz will join them, maybe she won't. Max is pretty much uncertain of everything at this point but he's not going to over think and overanalyse everything and, well, brood. He's not going to brood. "Maxwell, I love that you're interested in my sex life, but you gotta pursue your own avenues." Michael is raising his eyebrows and shrugging his shoulders in this completely unnerving way so Max just squints his eyes like he does and follows Alex out, stealing an apple on his way.

-

Even after two weeks, the brooding hadn't stopped, the question of who the hell Ava is still hasn't been answered, the rock hasn't glowed again, the origin of Maria's visions is still a mystery, and then there's the whole issue of eight pods still left to be analyzed. Three is one thing, but eight is just pushing it. It's confusing, too, because where are the other five aliens? All this time they've been looking for Nasedo and now it seems there's five of him or five like him. Five like them, and Max can't help but feel happy about it. That place that he dreams about, it doesn't have to exist because they're here.

But with his happiness comes confusion. Now his thoughts are all jumbled and he doesn't know what to think. Before it used to be all about not using powers in public and not getting close to anyone and not being careless. That was before he healed Liz. After he healed Liz it was about investigating and covering the tracks and making sure nothing happened to the six of them. There was six of them. And now. Well, now it seems like there's five of hem. And now it's about breathing. Finally, for the first time in a long time, Max is able to breathe.

"Max!" Or maybe he's not. He turns around and Alex and Isabel both excuse themselves in unison, one talking about a movie, the other about the park and the stars and Yogi? Why couldn't she have been looking for Alex? Or Isabel? She likes Isabel. Maybe not, Isabel isn't too fond of her. "Hey, Liz, um. Hey." She does that hair tuck thing that she always does and Max mentally kicks himself for noticing. Wasn't she the reason behind all his brooding? Didn't Isabel say he should, what was the expression? Bip it in the nud? That doesn't make sense. He does that hair smooth back thing that he does and they walk together. He's barely listening and in the three weeks since they've spoken she appears to have grown a fondness for speaking. "I don't see any of you anymore. Maria, Alex and I, we haven't talked in forever." Max is just nodding along, not particularly hearing her voice and thinking. Always thinking.

There was a time, just three weeks ago, when all he would be able to hear was Liz's voice. Wonder what changed. He thinks it's probably the fact that he didn't make an effort to speak to her after their brief encounter at school the day he healed Michael, but there are two people in their, you could call it a relationship, and she didn't make an effort either. "We've been meeting up, you know that. Alex said he told you." Liz shrugs and barely rolls her eyes. "Science Club, right. I've been meaning to go, but things have been a little weird between us, haven't they?" Another hair tuck and Max is sure she's batting her eyelashes. He didn't think girls still did that. "I mean, Max, we never talk anymore, and whenever you're at the Crashdown it's to pick Maria up. I miss you, you know?" She smiles at him and Max wonders, he's been wondering this for a while now, what it is about Liz that makes him like her so much. She's just like any other girl from Roswell, except for the fact that she was shot and brought back to life by an alien.

And then it dawns on him, another epiphany. There's nothing special about Elizabeth Parker. She's just a girl who was lucky that a boy like him had a crush on her. She's just a girl who made a few special friends and whose life changed a lot in a short amount of time. But she, herself, is not special. Max thinks his thoughts may be a little cruel, but he's still thinking them. "Liz, I have to go. Isabel and Alex are probably waiting for me." He offers her a smile, the first he's given to her in quite some time, and turns to leave before she has the chance to say goodbye.

It feels weird, leaving Liz behind. It feels weird, but at the same time it feels necessary. Even if Michael and Maria are hell bent on finding out where the visions came from and what they mean — and they've been doing "experiments" to find out, yeah, whatever. Everyone knows what kind of experiments they've been doing — and Isabel and Alex are working on the Ava thing and where the other five aliens are and Liz is, well, Liz isn't really doing much of anything watching him walk away from her, even if all of that is going on, and everything around him is chaotic and annoying and Maria keeps poking the rock to make it glow, Max feels this. How should it be described? A lightness. There's a lightness in the air. And it's surrounding him and freeing him. And it's better than being dizzy or, hell, being drunk.


	6. Part Six: Compassion PG13

**Title**: Compassion ( Destiny part six )  
**Timeline**: The first of 15 parts for Crazy.  
**Perspective**: Maria and Michael  
**Spoilers**: Nothing relevant, mostly thought  
**Disclaimer**: Characters and main storylines are not mine, but this is a remixed version of the original so steal _those_ ideas and I will... Cry.

---

"Michael made omelettes." Isabel sets the tray down on the bedside table and opens the curtains which let in an array of light like Maria has never seen before. Maybe the light here shines differently or maybe it's because her eyelids are half closed, sitting lazily on her eyes, unwilling to fully open. Isabel has been doing this every Sunday for two weeks — bringing Maria breakfast while Michael and Max go over the week's findings and Alex interrupts them to play video games before work — and yet Maria isn't fully used to it yet. Wake up calls usually come from her mother who is, of course, unaware that she is at Michael's because she's not. Nope. She's at Isabel's having girl's night like they always do every Saturday. In actuality, Maria is a horrible child with an Czechoslovakian boyfriend and a world of secrets that her mother can never know because she'd simply explode and that wouldn't be good, no, it wouldn't.

Maria's world, my has it changed. With the end of the summer and the beginning of school came the end and beginning of many a thing, some good, some bad, some life threatening and all life altering. Czechoslovakians. "Damn those Czechoslovakians," is what Maria used to say and now, now she can't exactly say that. Now those Czechoslovakians are her best friends, her comrades, her own personal bodyguards. Isabel is like the replacement of Liz since she stopped hanging out with Maria and Alex and started going to _real_ Science Club — Whatever, Maria's still calling it the Human/Czechoslovakian Alliance to which there is much protest because Michael thinks Czechoslovakian should be first. This is Earth, buddy not your nameless Czechoslovakian homeland — and became a total bitch just because Max is ignoring her. Okay, so what if Max is ignoring her, Maria and Alex aren't so maybe she should pick up the phone sometime, or say hello at school, but no, Liz Parker is above that. Whatever.

Max — Who, by the way, is horrible at Street Fighter and should never attempt to play it ever again as he will fail miserably and be humiliated, and no one wants that because it's just not amusing anymore, it's becoming sad — is like the darker haired, more moody and broody version of Alex and when put in a room with Alex is even more entertaining than Isabel threatening to turn unmentionable parts of Michael blue. The two of them provide endless entertainment, especially during Bewitched because they talk over everything and make up their own lines which, of course, drives Michael insane. Which brings us to Michael, the once broody, annoying, self centered, over confident, manipulative, unnecessarily heroic, jerky, close minded insert string of bad words here, who has since changed his ways and become, well, perfect.

It's days like today that Maria can just lay half asleep while Isabel gets comfy on the bed and starts crisping the bacon to her liking and not worry about, well, anything. "Where's my shirt?" She sits up, pulling the covers over her chest and blinking away the sun to no avail. Isabel helps her scour the floor for it but a lost cause is a lost cause. "Damned if I know. How was last night?" Maria gets that silly smirk on her face and giggles into her knees which are drawn up in front of her. Last night was like every other night she and Michael are together, like every second she and Michael are together; unexplainable and euphoric and just—

"I mean the visions." Isabel has this way of interrupting thoughts, maybe because she's visited Maria's dreams so often, maybe because Maria is so readable. "Oh, right," she laughs again and eats a forkful of omelette as an excuse to prolong having to answer. "You got visions, of course, but nothing relevant to our current crises and nothing new?" Maria is now flush with rosy red cheeks and a lip biting grin across her lips. Isabel is handing her toast and trying not to laugh. They do this a lot, this silent exchange of words. Talking but not speaking. Communicating with each other and yet, no words are ever spoken. It's the kind of bond Maria used to have with Liz. But Liz has changed somehow.

"Okay, you have to tell me, because I can't keep covering for you if I don't know the whole story." Both Maria and Isabel get doubly comfortable as Isabel finishes off the bacon and Maria the omelette and they break the last piece of toast in half to share. "Is it big?" is the first question she asks which sends them both into hysterical giggles as Maria nods fervently. Max once described them as a pack of wild hyenas and now, Maria can see why he would think so. That doesn't stop the laughter though, nor does it stop Isabel's questions. Through bits of buttered toast and a horde of wild hyena laughter, Isabel manages to ask Maria to specifically, in detail, with reference to every individual experience, tell her what it was like.

She begins the story with "Amazing," but is cut off by the opening of the door and the face of a very confused and annoyed Michael — squinty eyes, furrowed eyebrows and all. "What are you two doing in here?" He cuts himself off before either one can attempt an answer and holds out his hands in protest. "I don't want to know. So just finish up your little, whatever it is you're doing, and get dressed, we gotta get to work, you know." He moves to close the door and Maria puts on that pout. "Michael." Isabel is now wearing his confused look and looking back and fourth between the two of them. He blushes — Maria loves it when he blushes — and hurries into the room to give her three kisses, two on the lips and one on the nose. "Your shirt's under the bed, by the way, you kicked it there last night."

--

Michael tries not to blush, he really does, but the whole Maria thing just brings out the — best or worst, he hasn't decided — unknown in him. It's not like it's a bad thing, to be compassionate, to show compassion and be romantic and cute and couply like that, but it's weird. It's the kind of stuff you'd expect Maxwell and Liz to do, though they hadn't been doing much of anything lately. He closes the door behind him and both he and Maxwell shake their heads at the laughter that follows. Girls really are insane. "Okay, if Isabel gets to know then you have to tell me." Max is munching on an apple and hands Michael the other video game control. Alex chimes in from the kitchen, "Don't start without me, I got the popcorn!" It's this kind of stuff that makes Michael wonder — how did things get like this?

Just before the summer ended you'd have to pay good money to get Michael Guerin anywhere close to Alex and Maria, in fact, you'd have to pay good money to get him close to anyone human. Before the summer ended his life was simple, basic, not affected by any emotion other than what he had for Is and Max. Before the summer, Michael realizes, he wasn't happy. And now, with Alex and Max waiting eagerly for his account of sex — granted, it is alien/human sex so it is bound to be different, not like they would know, ha — and Maria and Isabel in the other room giggling like school girls, he is. And not just happy like when you get a Christmas present, no, like real happy.

Everyone is so involved, he thinks, so connected. And the one missing link is the one that could bring the whole thing down. He hates to admit it, in fact he hates to even think about it, but everyone in this apartment owes something to Liz. What's even worse is that all of their lives are in her very unstable hands. Michael is more than sure that Alex and Maria won't let their secret out, but Liz. No one really knows what goes through her mind. And since no one's spoken to her in a while, there's no way to know what she's been thinking. It's unsettling, unnerving, and really damn annoying.

"Okay, from the top, how was it? How long did you go for? Where, how, and who was on top?" Maxwell takes a handful of popcorn and gulps down some Pepsi. Alex nods along hurriedly and speaks through a mouthful of popcorn kernels, many of which are falling into his lap. "Maria's a freak in the sheets, isn't she? I knew it, she just seems the type." Michael scoffs at the two of them, hungry eyed and gaping for his response. Immature little boys. He laughs under his breath and sighs deeply. "Boys, can we get some real questions here?" Wounded, Max and Alex go over to the door, lean in close to each other and collaborate on what must be _the_ best question any one has ever asked about sex because they come up after about twenty minutes. What they come up with is so predictable, Michael's head almost explodes.

Alex hands him a piece of paper and a pencil and they both sit down again. "If you would, as well as you can, try to think hard on this one, draw us a diagram of Maria's. Well, you know." He raises his eyebrows in this completely nerdy way and nudges Max. "Her," Max looks down at his chest and coughs. There is an awkward exchange of glances between the three of them and more coughing. Max continues to stare at his chest after the coughing and it finally dawns on Michael. Finally. "OH! Oh, right. Sure. Pass me the pencil."

"Michael Guerin! Tell me you are not about to draw my _BOOBS_ on that piece of paper!" Michael's mind is blank, he looks at Maxwell and Alex who have abandoned him completely and are heading to the door as Maria taps her foot against the hardwood floor and raises her eyebrow. The little alien antenna on the top of her head swaying back and fourth are distracting him from coming up with a logical explanation and instead of denying the accusations like he should, he stutters. Why, oh why did he stutter? It's the sure way to gain some form of physical abuse from Maria, she's a feisty little one despite her petiteness. She scoffs and aims to kick his shoe, gets his ankle instead and seems extremely pleased with herself. "You are _SO_ not getting ass tonight, that's for sure," she mutters and walks off with her head held high like a lady. A lady in the streets and yes, a freak in the sheets.


	7. Part Seven A: Crazy

**Title**: Crazy ( Destiny part seven a )  
**Timeline**: The second of 16 parts for Crazy.  
**Perspective**: Maxwell Evans  
**Spoilers**: Nothing relevant, mostly thought and rambling  
**Disclaimer**: Characters and main storylines are not mine, they belong to the WB and Jason Katims.

---

Max dips his fry into the mix of ketchup, Tabasco sauce and chocolate frosting and takes a sip of Tabasco tainted orange juice. How he can drink orange juice after eight in the morning has been a mystery to everyone, but he likes it. "No, if a vampire bites you, and then another vampire bites you after the first one does, it cancels out, you're no longer a vampire." He tosses the fry into his mouth and makes a face. Maybe the frosting was too much to add to the mix. Alex frowns at him, probably at both the frosting and the vampire logic. Of course, Max isn't being logical, but Alex is always being logical and he likes to test that. It's just a but of fun, and he usually gives in and lets Alex win.

"That's just. Not. Max, we've had this conversation before. Do you remember?" Yes, he remembers, but he shakes his head just because. Alex scowls, once again and continues his lecture. "Isabel called it the Vampire Fiasco of 2000, you have to remember." He waits for Max's response, maybe a nod or a realization, but Max just squints his eyes and blinks. He's having far too much fun with this. "If a vampire bites you another one will make you a vampire, how do I put this, squared. You'll be twice vampire." Max has to fight the urge to laugh as Maria walks by, so he asks her for input, knowing fully that she's only going to add to the insanity.

"Mar, if you get bitten by two vampires, does it cancel out or make you and even stronger vampire?" Alex seems pleased by the question as she ponders it. Max thinks this is all insane, but he still asked. He's still munching on fries that are covered in chocolate frosting and even though they taste bad, he's much too occupied to change that. "Well, I don't know. I got bit, you see, and turned into a vampire, and then a second vampire bit me, but immediately after a third bit me. So whether or not it cancelled out or made me stronger, I have no idea. Ask Michael, he was the second vampire." She walks off and Alex shoots a suspicious look at Michael who is now squinting in that confused way that he does.

Max just laughs and tries to ignore Liz's stare from across the room. She's been staring at him all night and it's getting kind of creepy. Isabel's been reading, one of Michael's old complicated books that were written by some guy who's been dead for a century, but she's not reading it the way she usually does, by flipping through the pages, she's actually paying attention. Michael and Maria are arguing about something or other and Liz informs them all — not that they're all listening — that she's taking off, going on a walk, something like that. Maria says she'll close and Isabel nudges Max. Liz is staring again. Quite the role reversal, he thinks, wasn't it him that was always staring at her? Lot's changed.

"We're closing early," Michael yells from the kitchen. Great, Max's plans for an evening of doing nothing but bothering Alex are shot. Michael and Maria only close early for one reason. They all leave together and Maria locks up. Alex and Isabel plan to watch a movie, the dorks, Michael and Maria's plans will not be discussed further and Max decides to just head home and maybe watch Bewitched. There's got to be something overly spectacular about it to make Michael ditch everyone just to watch. Max gets in the jeep and waves goodbye to his friends. He's driving, thinking, trying not to crash because of all the thinking and he thinks maybe things are finally going good for him. Despite unanswered questions and being hated by Liz and that feeling in the pit of his stomach that there _is_ something out there worth looking for and he _is_ missing out by not looking for it, everything seems to be going relatively well.

-

He stops at one of those deer crossings — at least, it looks like a deer crossing —and wonders if Roswell even has deer. He knows there are roadrunners, and coyotes and those avocet things, but he's never actually seen any deer and he doesn't think they'd have avocet crossings, talk about animal prejudice. He realizes there is so little he knows about Roswell, despite having lived here for ten years and fermenting in a pod for forty years before that. He realizes that all this time he's been mulling over the fact that he may have to leave his family and his home and his life in the not so distant future and he doesn't even know his home. He knows nothing about Roswell and he knows nothing about his parents prior to his meeting them and maybe leaving Roswell wouldn't be such a hard thing to do. His thoughts are slowly moving from weird to insane when he notices someone — or something, maybe it's a deer — is walking toward the jeep.

"Max, hey, how are you?" Liz Parker; interrupter of insane thoughts, starer from across the room, human brought back to life by stupid once obsessed alien is standing near — leaning on actually — Max's jeep and batting her eyelashes once again and is now asking irrelevant questions. Max wonders why she wouldn't ask a question like 'What are you doing out here at this deer crossing all by yourself?' or 'Aren't you going to ask me what I'm doing wandering around deer crossings by myself?' instead of her question which should have started with 'Even though I just saw you ten minutes ago and know perfectly well that you're doing all right, I just have to ask'.

"I'm okay," he replies, and the smart ass in him wants to ask what she's doing all by herself at a deer crossing, but it _is_ Liz, after all and she seems to have developed telepathy as well as a fondness for speaking. Max has developed a fondness for thinking and over thinking and rethinking and he's developed a strong hatred for all things nonthinking, and he's thinking again, oh, when will it stop? "I was just taking a walk and I ended up here." There, there's the telepathy, and there is her explanation, not like he cares. He was just driving home to watch Bewitched and investigate what sort of power it holds over Michael, not that she cares, although she might care what with the staring and the interest in his life and the mild stalking — because, honestly, how _did_ she manage to be at the exact same deer crossing as him? It's scary.

He nods and her eyes are focussed on him, not even moving, and even though he can't see it, he can feel it and it really does feel scary. So he speaks. "Right, then, I should get home." She nods now, and backs away from the jeep and then leans on it again and then backs away — oh, will she make up her mind?! "Say, do you think you could give me a ride? It's getting kind of cold out." No, his mind says, he can't, because he's just come from the Crashdown making it out of his way and he needs to get home before Bewitched finishes because. Just because. So no, he cannot take her home. "Thanks," she hops in and he isn't actually aware of saying yes, probably because he didn't say yes, but he starts driving anyway and tries to ignore her presence. It's difficult, to say the least.

"Max, what happened to us?" she says almost as soon as they're driving again. He's sure somewhere in the back of his mind there is a logical explanation for what happened to them. He's sure he will tell her the explanation and she will be content with it and never ask again. He is sure she will continue to stare at him until he answers her and right now he is unsure of an answer and doing that thinking thing again. He shrugs, squints his eyes and thinks on it for a second. Maybe a little more than a second. "It started as a break," he mutters. "If I'm remembering correctly, and then we just. Didn't talk." Max tries to focus on the road, on driving and not crashing and not dying before he's found out about his alien heritage, but it's hard when he starts thinking again.

What _did_ happen between him and Liz? He's right, it started out as a break and then due to lack of communication or lack of opportunity to communicate, they just drifted apart. It seems everyone is drifting toward each other — Michael and Maria, Maria's mom and the Sheriff, even Alex and Isabel — and here he is so far from Liz. Not that he cares, or that she cares, except that she does, but really, he doesn't, but it's weird to think things could fall apart so easily. He hopes the rest of his life doesn't fall apart so easily. He _wants_ to hang on to everything else at least. Even though Liz doesn't seem at all content with his answer, he doesn't say any more, just because he doesn't feel like explaining himself anymore, or at all for that matter. She looks like she's about to ask another question but something jumps out at them and Max steps on the brake. Maybe it's a deer.

"You're in danger, all of you." Max unintentionally leans over to Liz's side, not to protect her although she does move behind him, but to get away from whoever is against the jeep yelling. He sees her now, shrouded in darkness and a tinge of fear, frantic and creepy looking. "What are you talking about?" It's things like this that make Max seriously wish he was human. Psycho people telling him he's in danger or following him or trying to shoot him. It's too much, no human kid ever had to deal with this kind of stuff unless they were Alex Whitman, Maria Deluca or Liz Parker or their parents were in some form of the Mafia. Which makes Max wonder if there's an alien Mafia somewhere out there. Maybe they have safe planets instead of safe houses and the Mafia Boss looks like Jabba the Hutt.

"The best way to protect yourselves is to just act like normal kids." Oh yes, because that's so easy what with the alien powers and all, not to mention the crazy people. Of course, telling the crazy people about the alien powers isn't always a good idea. Max thinks nothing about the alien powers or the alienness in general is good. Nothing. "We are normal kids," he lies, through his pearly white alien teeth. He can feel Liz trembling behind him and now she's clutching onto his shirt and her nails are slowly digging into his shoulder. "Ok. I think I was followed. Don't trust anyone. I'll find you again." She leaves, runs into the darkness and Max gets comfy in the driver's seat again. His shoulder hurts and his eyes hurt from rolling so much. Since she said not to trust anyone, doesn't that mean they shouldn't trust her? Then how can they trust that they shouldn't trust anyone?

He looks over at Liz who — honestly, it's kind of funny, Max is having a difficult time not laughing — looks like she's had multiple heart attacks. This is stupid, it really is, and the fact that she's flipping out so much just proves how much. So what, she's back. It's not like she holds the key to their very existence. He starts the car up and decides they should call Alex and Isabel and meet at Michael's. It's like headquarters. They've never had headquarters before, it's kind of cool to think about it. "Topolsky." Liz mumbles under her breath in this scared way that is only funny to Max and his mind can't help but say 'Thanks, Captain Obvious.'


	8. Part Seven B: Crazy

**Title**: Crazy ( Destiny part seven b )  
**Timeline**: The third of 16 parts for Crazy.  
**Perspective**: Maxwell Evans  
**Spoilers**: Nothing relevant, more ramble thought and panicked talkinh  
**Disclaimer**: Characters and main storylines are not mine, they belong to the WB and Jason Katims.

---

Max opens the door as quietly as he can and hopes their experiment hasn't gotten too far otherwise he may have to postpone this meeting to tomorrow. This isn't a situation he wants to be in, being here like this with them like that, not that they're like _that_, he can't tell from the doorway, but just the prospect of, oh, it's too terrible to think. Although, seeing Maria wouldn't be that bad except for the part about Michael killing him. The sound of "Maria" being moaned is just about all he needs to hear for now but since it's evident that it hasn't progressed _that_ far — What the hell have they been doing all this time, playing Scrabble? Oh, right, Bewitched. Freaks — he steps into the room and averts his eyes about to speak when there is the soft sound of "Michael. Oh, Michael. Max." He almost laughs. Almost.

"What?" Now, please, please Maria, think quickly before Michael unleashes his undeveloped alien powers on us all and we _almost_ get hit by a teddy bear — What the hell are teddy bears doing in Michael's room anyway? — or the clock or the bed sheets. Really, Michael needs to work on those things, they're more dangerous when _not_ used. Max is now aware of Alex and Isabel standing behind him, both also struggling to keep their laughter inside. "Look," and she points and Michael gets that confused squinty look on his face and scowls. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

Liz doesn't hesitate to fill everyone in on their Topolsky encounter, in fact she jumps right into the story, no details left out. Everyone hangs on to her every word, including Max even though he was there. It's just the way she tells it, as if they escaped death! Actually, all she says is "Topolsky" in this monotonous voice Max was unaware anyone but Michael and himself, when he's imitating Michael, can make. No one's even listening to Liz when Isabel starts talking. "She's back," is what Is says and then adds, "She practically just attacked them in the car talking nonsense about danger and being followed. Did I cover everything, Max?" Max and Alex are still sort of laughing about Michael and Maria but Alex nudges him and coughs inconspicuously and his eyebrows shoot up. "Oh, right, yeah. She said we were all in danger. And to just act normal until she contacts us again."

Maria, nestled under Michael's arm and cuddling close to a fluffy pink pillow asks in this meek voice Max has never heard, "Would that be, you know, alien normal, or just plain 'we're the subjects of an FBI manhunt' normal?" She sounds scared which Max understands because everything has been so quiet and now, it feels like that's over. It's now hitting him that everything isn't going good anymore, that Topolsky coming back has really screwed up his plans for this year. Once again, he wishes he was human. After Topolsky left and Hubble died and he and Liz — well, everyone and Liz — stopped talking, it seemed like things were going to be, well, okay. And now, little miss FBI agent is back in their lives and it seems Liz is back in the group and it's just not what he wants.

He wants Michael and Maria to figure out the visions, he wants Isabel and Alex to find out who Ava is and he wants all of them to find the other five aliens and maybe expand their group to ten — because really, that would be cool — and he wants to do it in secret — obviously what with the alienness — with his friends. His _four_ friends. Him making five. Five friends. No more, no less. He doesn't want to have Agent Topolsky following him around and attracting whoever it is that was following her, and he doesn't want Liz following him around. He thought, finally, he had let go of the drama, but it seems the drama hasn't let go of him. Stupid drama. He wishes it would just go away already.

The sound of Michael's voice brings him back to the present. "This sounds wrong, like some sort of trap." The sound of Liz's voice brings him back to the drama. He thinks the could give in to the drama, dramatically throw himself off a cliff or use his powers on a mirror so they reflect back and kill him! Would that work, that reflection thing? He decides to try it out on Alex when he's least suspecting it. Or Michael and then they can have a reflected power fight except for the fact that Michael's powers are so out of whack he might _actually_ kill Max and then he'd be dead and his life would literally be over. That reminds him of Maria because she says literally all the time. Like she _literally_ melted in the sun or she _literally_ died during third period.

"No, Michael. She was really scared. I believed her." Michael rolls his eyes and Maria rolls her eyes and Isabel scoffs _and_ rolls her eyes and Alex quirks an eyebrow and Max just coughs. She looks defeated and Max feels bad. He still has a heart despite not wanting her in the group or involved in the alien activity or near him, and it still beats and works and he isn't going to be a complete asshole just because. He feels bad that everyone is sort of against her. It used to be three to two and then it was three to three and now, now it's five to one and it must really suck for her. "Yeah. Let me remind you, Liz, that you believed her the first time, too." Part of Max sort of wants to ask Michael to knock it off, maybe jump in and be the hero again but another part of him is sick of being a hero.

Alex jumps in. Alex is the hero. This is unusual and Max doesn't like it. If he doesn't get to be the hero, no one does. "Do you really think she's here to warn us?" But the part of Max that is blase and nonchalant and doesn't care about, well, anything, decides to lean against the wall and talk to Isabel with his eyes. It's this thing they've been doing since they were kids. Isabel's eyes say 'This is boring me to death.' Max's eyes reply with 'Same here, do you want to get a burger after this?' Isabel laughs and covers her mouth. Her eyes glance at Liz and Max shakes his head. 'What did you ever see in her?' her eyes ask. He wants to reply with a list but his eyes roll and say 'I have no clue,' and then add 'It's strange how things change so quickly.' Isabel's eyes look sad and he knows they hope, she hopes, that nothing else changes that quickly.

"She wasn't the same person she was before. You know, and the way that she was talking, she seemed like she was just as scared for herself as she is for us. I say we listen to her." Liz is intent on staking her case, Topolsky's case and now everyone is just getting annoyed. Isabel has already given up on reasoning or talking, for that matter, and is filing her nails with her powers. Alex is intrigued at how her powers are working so precisely. Or perhaps he's intrigued with her, Max can't differentiate anymore. Maria is still hugging the pillow, Michael is idly patting her head and scoffing under his breath. Max is just watching. Watching everyone get bored and pissed off and scared, although now that Maria looks like she's sleeping, Liz is the only one that really looks scared.

"I say we don't! All right, it's just a new tactic. She scares us, makes us think we need help, and all we're really doing is admitting who we are. All right? I don't trust her, and none of us should." Michael is right. Max hates to admit it sometimes, but he is. There is no way in hell Max is going to admit to anyone outside of this room that he is an alien. Unless they happen to be alien also and that's another story. But Liz is right, too. Topolsky did seem genuinely scared. It's like his world is divided. What he saw or what he knows. "Whether we trust her or not, it doesn't hurt to take her advice. We're normal teenage kids. No one says the word "alien" or talks about this in public. Anybody could be watching. And I think we should keep the glowy alien rock thingy here. It's the safest place we've got right now."

Everyone is looking at Max like he's mental and for a moment he expects them all to start laughing. Yes, yes, he said 'glowy alien rock thingy', it's not that big of a deal even though it is a little silly. Michael nods his head, Alex stops staring at Isabel long enough to silently agree and Isabel's eyes say 'alienalienalienalienalien!'. "I can't believe she's back," Maria mutters under her breath with her eyes still closed. She sighs heavily. "I thought this was all over with." Sorry, Mar, it's never going to be over with it seems.


End file.
